Mercury Retro Rants


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This current mercury retrograde has been quite an unstable ride, especially emotionally. Luckily, we are so close to being done with this transit. The next thing will most be much worse, but this is where we are in the present moment. Let’s work with it.

Personal Experiences

I am lucky in that I have not experienced the normal retrograde things. No computer problems, car problems, or anything like that. I only got a little dent in my car from a stick flying into the door.

Otherwise, all that stuff happened during the shadow period. I tried to work through that very slowly.

I personally began the period with a nice foggy brain, but I worked through it. I found out a lot of tricks in order to get this right. This may have more to do with Uranus ingressing into Taurus than the retrograde, but I am still pleased that what I am doing works.

I cried a lot, and I anticipate a continuation of this for a little time longer. This is fairly normal, but it’s more than usual at the moment. Part of me thinks that this behavior is weak and should be eliminated. The part of me that doesn’t give a shit, well, thinks this is totally okay because it is a part of being a human being.

I contemplated how I am not being fair to myself and allowing others to invalidate who I am or how I feel about them. You should too. Not everyone needs to stay in your life.

Now we move forward (almost).

Vague Words

On a lighter note, I feel like it is time to stop being so vague about everything. For example, the words that we use in order to convey the spiritual. I almost think that in order to be all-encompassing for everyone’s belief systems we may have lost our own in vague words.

I know that when I do readings online for Instagram, I am purposely vague. The goal is not to pinpoint one person’s day but to allow the person who reads the caption to apply it to what is vexing them the most.

We tend to convolute otherwise simple words. These words lose meaning from this oversimplification of these words to encompass a wide range of experiences.

Mainly, the word “journey” is annoying the fuck out of me. I don’t even know what it means anymore because it is all over the place. “Life’s journey” is zero percent better.

I am going totally blame the retrograde for being annoyed. And usually, if you are annoyed, it is you not the other people saying it. It probably makes total sense to everyone else on earth but me for all I know.

Most likely it is Uranus that is causing the annoyance because there is a lack of planning of movement in any direction.

To me, the word “journey” in the spiritual sense implies that there is some sort of order involved. I have yet to see anything in my life making any sort of sense.

Do people really have to go through a bunch of bullshit or any kind of hard life to learn lessons for the universe? 

I don’t think so. I think we can do better. This kind of thinking makes it seem that it is okay for people to just shit on each other.

Do you go out into the jungle without a map or a compass? Maybe even some sort of survival supplies? Why are we just being thrust into the “spiritual wilderness” with such a vague map?

You probably are running down your spiritual path thinking you have the tools. Maybe Spinning Globeyou do, but I feel like if this was the case, there would be less human misery. Or worse, human hatred by humans. I have always felt that even though no one gives two shits about what I have to say, I can change the world by small actions.

I am seeing a death of this kind of New Age Vague Speak with the younger people getting involved in more specific traditions or making their own traditions while also keeping it more modern. There is hope yet!

I, however, have switched gears on my journey so many times, and will most likely continue to do so in my life. And I plan on continuing to look into all the little dumb things that annoy me to examine why these things are so irksome.

In the meantime, I hope you all have a smooth journey through throughout the rest of the retrograde.

“…Or is it just me?”

We all have those thoughts that come into our mind about life, the universe, and everything that may seem like you’re the only person on earth who thinks this way. You may have thoughts that seem a little bit controversial in certain groups.

I am talking about more magically minded groups, of course.

For example, I have seen people in tarot groups get a million comments calling them stupid or worse because they don’t think the way the majority of readers do. I am sure this is every circle and genre of human groups. What is even the point of groups if you are thinking differently than the rest?

Tree in Sunset

Image by Bess Hamiti from Pixabay

Well, there really isn’t one. So you have to go it alone if you do think outside the current popular belief system. Thinking within the current reality tunnel only makes you more susceptible to cults or other harmful movements anyway.

The best thing about all of this is that you, my dear weirdo, can stand alone. You will find the other weirdlings as you move throughout the world. These people will not require you to hurt others or yourself either. If they do, they are not for you. If your gut is calling “danger” walk away.

The point is, you are not alone. You just haven’t found the people who will allow you to be the individual you are and shine with your unique light. It isn’t just you in this world. It is all of us who dare to dream of a world that is different than the one that we currently reside in.

Freak Out Dreams


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Have you ever had a dream filled with the dark secrets you like to hide that you spend the rest of the day trying to be clean?

I had one the other night. Recovering took a few weeks. I could not shake the weird feeling hanging over me, but finally, the impression dissipated.

This particular dream starred a past employment situation, and it is a recurring dream theme.

When these types of dreams come to the forefront, it makes me think that I have to work through these yucky, foul things. It’s not the actual garbage that happened, but the nasty aftertaste. These feelings lurk in some shape or form in the back of my mind.

So, I pulled out a Tarot card from my trusty Thoth deck. What can help clarify a dream than something works as a metaphor? Personally, I think it will work to create an inner dialogue.

So, here we go.

The Hierophant

The Hierophant Tarot Card

The Hierophant is the teacher. The card is the dude that teaches the status quo. The card is not “bad” per say. The status quo is not my fave personally, but each to their own.

The Hierophant is also about restriction and challenging that very thing.

To me, this is a way to break the cycle of what has become a tradition.


A Few Weeks Later

I let this play itself out in the world, and it did. That shit undertone has finally gone — for the time being. I feel like this dream warned me about toxic people. I tend to allow these types of people too much of my time. The following is a list of traits to look out for.

  1. They take credit for your work. To me, this is the worst. Sometimes, people accidentally do this, but consistently doing this tells you that your ideas are what matters. This person is not on your side.
  2. Bitching about people when it’s them. Naturally, we all disagree with the people around us, and we bitch about it. However, if the person is complaining about things that they should be doing as a human being, stay away.
  3. Accusing you of things you didn’t do. If you get accused of wrongdoing or get ultimatums, run. You’re an adult, not a child. It’s not your job to stroke anybody’s ego. You have shit to do.
  4. When with others, they gang up on you. Being sarcastic is fun, but when you are the brunt of a bullying style of sarcasm, then they aren’t on your side. A new friendship should not be forge on disparaging an old one.

Now, you don’t have to take shit from people, and honestly, you don’t have to give people lessons on their behavior. The best thing to do is to stay away, calm down, and assess if there was merely a misunderstanding or if what you experienced is legit.

If you are busy and get accused of things you are not doing, then just cut the cord. If someone is only looking at what they feel, and don’t ask about you at all, they don’t care about you. They only care about their self.

Life’s too short to worry about people who hold you back or to work in a place with people who are toxic. No need to teach lessons to people like this. They will learn from the mistakes made or they won’t.

You don’t need that kind of garbage in your life.

Runes and Ordering


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Futhark Ordering

I’ve noticed people ordering the Runic alphabet in the order of the Latin alphabet. Sure, you can do that, champ, but it is not the traditional order. There is a compelling reason why you want things in this order. It would help you correspond the letters together if you were to write with them.

However, the original purpose of the ordering was not to make it convenient for us modernites to write. Think of it this way; the ancient peoples were animistic tribes before the Christian takeover. These “letters” were living beings to them, not just letters. Therefore, the placement of the runes would be significant.

By knowing this ordering, you can find the quintessence of the reading.

This technique is very enlightening, but how can this help you if you’re new to runes? Well, you can get to the heart of the reading. In Tarot, this is the quintessence, the spirit of the matter.

Finding this is very enlightening for all your readings.

The Aetts

Runes in the order of the Futhark

The runes divide into “aetts” or eights. So, if you are using that funky Wyrd rune, throw it aside, or if you’re like me, just use it as a replacement if you lose one. The Wyrd rune is a modern concoction, and you don’t need it.

The first, known as Freya’s Aett, represents the cycle of life. Our life path’s basic patterns.

Freya's Aett

The second, Hagal’s Aett, is the external forces that surround us. This force is a third party or nature itself. That which we cannot control.

Hagal's Aett

The third and final, Tyr’s Aett, represents the internal power that helps us deal with the previous two. These describe how the individual handles both the life path and the ambivalent influences we encounter along the way.

Tyr's Aett

It can be very beneficial to meditate on how these all come together in their respective line both horizontally and vertically.

In the meantime, you can learn the order, and use it to find the spirit of your reading or the quintessence. This technique works better for use with spreads.

An Example Reading

Let’s use the example of a three rune pull. The question is “Will I meet the love of my life soon?” and we will call the sitter, Bonnie.

Example Rune Reading

The runes pulled, Ansuz (Merkstave), Dagaz, and Ehwaz will provide the answer to the question.

Here Ansuz letting us know that Bonnie was too shy in the past to speak to anyone, and was unable to meet someone that interested her. Dagaz indicates that she is at the threshold of a new day, and has realized that staying at home and watching Netflix is not the way to live or find love. Bonnie is ready to begin a new regime of talking to people and putting herself out there. With Ehwaz, we see that Bonnie needs to find someone that she trusts to find this person. Perhaps friends know of someone that would be a good fit or she could sign up for a “match ‘em up” site with an excellent rating. Bonnie may be thinking too inside the box, or just isn’t meeting anyone on her own.

Now, for the quintessence of the reading.

Ansuz = 4; Dagaz = 7; Ehwaz = 3. 4+7+3=14. 1+4=5

The runes that represent the core or spirit of the reading would be Perthro and Raidho. Perthro is the rune of luck whether good or bad, and Raidho is the journey itself.

Bonnie will meet her love if she allows fate to help her. She needs to keep going, relying on the help of others to get there. No feeling sorry for herself and sitting on the couch, anymore. At the same time, she will need to be aware that she is not delusional when it comes to the people she meets. If she understands what she is looking for, she will have a better chance of not getting involved with a dud and wasting her time.


As you can see this technique can give quite a lot of information on what the sitter can do about their situation.

The runes should be kept and learned in the Futhark order at some point. It is a shame to see it reduce to nothing but a way to write in code to each other. Trust me, I am guilty of this myself, and until recently, had not memorized the Elder Futhark – which is what I use. Plus, it is an excellent way of weeding out pertinent information when researching this subject.

How I do a Tarot Reading


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Weekly Tarot

This week I give away the proprietary secrets on how I read my tarot for the week. I am joking of course. My methods are not a secret by any means.

I prefer not to read tarot to learn about myself. I live with myself regularly, so I am well-versed with my shit side. I do need guidance when it comes to keeping motivated, and where I need to focus my efforts to get somewhere with my personal goals.

I’m all about goals, and Tarot is a multivalent tool that can not only help your psyche but your ability to get things accomplished. All ways are valid.

The Makeup of the Question

The first thing I do is focus on the dreaded question. Since I will be working on what to expect this week, I can ask about it a few different ways.

● What can I expect this week?
● What issues will I have this week?
● What can I do this week that will help with my long-term goals?
● What will happen?

I usually ask the last question for daily readings.

I chose:

“What issues will I have this week?”

I am keeping everything pretty vague, but I want to know the most important possibilities. I also do the reading in the third person to keep myself out of it.

The Reading

Now that the hard part is out of the way, I have drawn my cards. I use three cards, and this week, I am using the Deviant Moon Tarot because of its accuracy and emotional nature.

I pulled the Seven of Pentacles, the Six of Wands, and the Knight of Swords.

3 Card Spread

The Scan

The next step is to scan the cards and view how they play together. I want to see how they are interacting with each other or anything else that pops out at me.

So the first thing I notice is the knight’s face. He looks so angry at the other two. He also appears to be stopping in his tracks. His assault seems to have ended in a very awkward way.

I notice that most of the hands have something in them. Most are wooden, but the Knight has one hand on the reign and one on his sword ready to fight if needed.

The knight’s face has morphed from the initial violent assault vibe it was giving off in the beginning. I note this because this is significant. The face on the Seven of Pentacles looks a bit worried, and the Six of Wands seems over-whelmed, but that knight is determined to shine regardless of the difficulties ahead.

The Focus Card

Now, that I finished the overall feeling, I move to the middle card.

The middle card determines the theme of the week. I am of two minds with this one.

There are five wands in disembodied hands. They want to give these wands to the figure, but she has already picked up a baton. That was the decision made, and that was where this person wishes to grow. The person is metamorphosing into a butterfly and doesn’t necessarily need the multiple choices at its disposal. These are merely there to distract and seduce back into the complacency of the card to the left.

The Six of Wands lady has more hands and could handle all of the gifts. However, taking them would prove to be fatal to the decision made in the beginning.

All in all the focus is work on one thing at a time, and eliminate distractions.

The Meat of the Reading

The Seven of Pentacles appears to be in a hell hole of drudgery and is just a cog in the industrial machine. But she seems to want more than just the day to day grind. She is using what she has to make her dreams come true by sacrificing what she had worked so hard to build in the past. Now, she transforms into the figure in the Six of Wands.

She has just escaped and is like a newborn when it comes to this decision, but the path before her may be daunting. There are a lot of ways that her dream could go, and all of them are at their beginning stage. It is best to stick with what she has to avoid the sinking feeling of doom that comes with an overabundance of choices. Focusing on one thing at a time will ensure that all of these endeavors will be fruitful.

The Knight is looking back at the other two cards as if to tell them to stay to the task ahead. He is in charge, and he wants the Six of Wands to pay attention to the future. He wants her to get one thing done before accepting any more gifts from the disembodied hands before her.

He is stopping his dragon horse with one hand, and that implies he intends to turn the beast around and charge into the far away future. He just merely needs to bark his orders to the soldiers behind him.

While he seemed to be angry and mean at first, his real purpose was to keep the momentum going, so the others do not lag behind. His way to the future involves discipline and action.

The Wrap-up

Based on the reading, I will need to eliminate distractions from my life. I still have a ways to go. I know what I want, and I have started to grow it. There is a lot more fight that needs to happen to ensure success.

The quintessence of my reading was Death and the Empress. Transformation and the need to nurture it to grow something new are the themes with these two cards.

Death and the Empress

These are great things to remember throughout this week. I had already changed my plans a few times when I first decided on the change I finally implemented, but ultimately I am working towards one thing at a time. I will keep this reading in mind as I navigate life through the next seven days.


Purchase the Deviant Moon deck and more at the artist’s website.

Life Cycles: The Dreaded Tower


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Life has its cycles, its ups, and downs. Sometimes you feel great, and you experience all that is wonderful in the world. Occasionally, however, everything that you knew before comes crashing down around you causing you to feel confused and sometimes hopeless.Death

Most of the time when doing a tarot reading for those people who have never had one done before say, “I hope I don’t get the Death card!” However, in my experience, the Tower has always filled my little heart full of dread to the umpteenth power. To me, that’s the “Oh Shit!” card. I have had the displeasure of getting this card on many occasions. I know every time I get this particular card, I am going to go through some colossal upheaval, albeit with a necessary end game.

Both the Death card and the Tower represent changes and transformation. However, the Death card is the type of transition that is the Winter to Spring to Summer to Fall type of change. It is the hibernation of the soul in the winter only to grow into the same thing but wiser in the spring. In essence, the old you dies and makes room for the new you. It is a metamorphosis much like a caterpillar to a butterfly.

The TowerThe Tower represents a more chaotic side of change that comes quickly and without warning. Your whole world comes crumbling down on you, and there seems to be nothing that you can do to ease the transitional forces that have laid siege upon the castle that is you. It comes in the form of outside powers that you cannot control and can be very devastating to an individual during the process and the aftermath. It may feel like a personal attack, but I assure you it is not.

However, you need not be too afraid. When you get this card in a reading, and it is not in the past position, then brace yourself. Remember, that when your Tower as crumbled and the dust has cleared, you can rebuild and make yourself a stronger “tower.” It is always important to stay positive.

Hope is all you have, but you still have to make things happen for yourself. The Tower is the Universes last resort to get you back to your proper purpose when you have lost your way. Sometimes, we get little nudges that we need to do something, and when we don’t listen for whatever reason, the Universe will give us a massive push over that edge that we were afraid to go over.

Usually, you don’t listen to your intuition because you just don’t believe that you can do the task that you were meant to do. Sometimes, you feel as if the thing you are drawn to do is illogical or you can’t do it. With self-confidence and trust in yourself, you can do anything you feel compelled to do.

The Queen of Dreams


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If you ask it, she will answer

Queen of Cups with a shell

This passage is the first in a series where I allow a Tarot deck to pick the topic for me. A tarot topic if you will. I chose the Crowley’s Thoth Tarot. Lo and behold! Out came the Queen of Cups to grace us with her presence.

The Question

What topic is most important for people to know?


Water of Water. Mysterious, Contemplative, Dreamy, Intuitive, and Tranquility. The woman who reflects the nature of the observer.

I picked two areas that I felt were most important for us to know.


This queen is asking us to reflect on our innermost emotions. A lot of times we do not do this. It seems too hard for us to take a second of every day and check in with how we feel about the going ons around us. We are taught to be humble; to say yes; to do what authority tells us; just watch TV.

Sovereign beings need to take a moment to check in with themselves. Everything else around us is not necessarily as it should be, and we need to make sure that we don’t fall into a complacency hole. Don’t do it, my friend! The future, your future, as an autonomous individual relies on you being at one with yourself.

You are not your worst enemy. That is a lie told to gaslight ourselves into a corner. You are the one that will always be on your side. If you do not have yourself to rely on, then what or who do you have? Not much and no one.

You need to look inside and make sure that you are okay with things going on around you.

  • Is how others treat you beneficial to both parties?
  • Is your future-self going to be happy with your present-self?
  • Do you see or notice red flags as they rear their ugly head?
  • Are you the one sabotaging your relationships?
  • Do your highest ideals and your actual life meet up in reality for coffee sometime?
  • Is your moral compass skewed?

Make sure you check yourself. You don’t want to be the actual asshole that everyone will be leaving behind. You don’t have to take crap from human bastards. Let them spread their shit somewhere else.


Focus and dream of what is to come and what you want out of life. No worries about reality when you imagine a perfect existence. Go over the top while you visualize. Think of it as brainstorming about the world you wish to create.

We all have this thing called an inner child. This child never leaves us but will hibernate if we take life way too seriously. Most will think that the world is a dark place where there is no hope and no room to move. This aspect of the world is merely an illusion. A prison we create for ourselves.

When we choose to move throughout the world as if the world is our toy, then the shackles fall away, and we can move freely in our life. Why be so serious about it all? What will anything that is beneath our highest ideals do for us? It does nothing. Break the chains that bind you, and dare to dream.


We are going to meet shit people in our life, but there is never an excuse to become one. We don’t have to step on toes or put people down. We merely need to lift ourselves up, and the rest will stay at the level where they are. They won’t even seem to notice you, and that’s the best.

We attract those per our own Will. If those around you do not act according to our ideals, then a need is there to check in with our purpose. Consider them course correctors as you navigate through your life.

At the same time, we have to live in the material world. While daydreaming is fun and beneficial when it comes to figuring out where we see our future, action is better when it is rooted in practicality. Not all ideas are good ideas in practice. Someone dreams up these dumb challenges that involving a poisonous substance, and it never works out well.

Magical Projectile Dysfunction


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Rituals Gone Wild

Ritual bath. Check. Anointed forehead with the appropriate oil. Check. Robe on and candles everywhere. Check. There you are dressed, and ready embark on a magical endeavor. You start, but you never get that feeling in your core as you had before. You can’t seem to flow with the energy like you once did.

For me, this boils down to a few reasons.

Concentration and Confidence

Being able to focus is a critical skill that we should all cultivate. For instance, if you didn’t have a golden sword that was necessary for a specific type of ritual, you need be able to get over this fact enough to concentrate on the task at hand; change your world to conform with your will.

Concentration is a big issue at this time. Most people are buried so deep in the news or some other outside world tragedy (friend drama, etc.) that it makes it harder to focus. Meditation can help this, and yet seems too hard to accomplish. Luckily, there are a ton of tools out there that you can use to drop out for a few minutes.

Some meditation apps are headspace, Insight Timer, or you can find some on YouTube.

In the book Memory: How to Develop, Train and Use It by William Walker Atkinson, he stresses that to cultivate your memory, you must focus on a task that you do not particularly enjoy. He states that affirmations such as “I am focusing my will on this task” help to keep you glued to the most mundane tasks. He recommends memorizing poems, but correspondence tables work just as well.

With the development of your memory comes an increased ability to pay attention to tedious tasks. Try to memorize a few keywords for the tarot; tackle numerology head-on; or remember your rituals. Not only will this improve your memory, but you will find that it works well to be able to concentrate in general.

A lot of the time, we are asked to get all these objects for magical operations that may not be obtainable or are illegal. That stuff is super great to have for sure, but for me, it has always been about the mindset I have at the time. If I feel like I am powerful, and this will work for me, then it does. Confidence is the key to make these rituals manifest.

One thing you’ll notice is the ego size of many successful magicians. It can be on the annoying side, but if you were consistently successful, your ego would balloon to an almost explosive level.

We are taught to be humble but screw that. Be proud of yourself if you are good at something. The difference is when you start talking like you’re the only one that is the best doing what you do. Maybe you are, but you will alienate people that may help you in the long run.

The point is, be confident, but don’t be a piece of shit at the same time. It isn’t the size of your ego that makes you a magician, but the way you use it.

Belief in Magic

Belief is when taking meticulous notes is critical. If you write down what you were working towards, you can track your progress. Magic often comes to fruition in really unusual ways. Make sure that you don’t poo-poo away the results.

Acknowledge the magic when it manifests. For magic to continue to work, you must admit it when it works. You cannot say that it was a coincidence or some other sort of dismissive word taught to us to squash the belief in magic. If you want your rituals to work, you can’t act like it was just “luck” or “coincidence.”

Materialism teaches that the “real” world is what we can touch and rationalize, but this doesn’t work with magic. There’s the saying that “Seeing is believing,” but for magic, it is more like “Believing is seeing.” You have to believe it works before it will be profoundly in your face that you cannot deny the existence of such an abstract mind-bending concept.

My belief stems from a bunch of childhood experiences with spirits. The majority happened when we moved into the woods. The forest is their territory, and I suppose they wanted to know what kind of creature just arrived. A lot of bright lights at 3 am, sparkly orbs, and what other people call shadow people gave me a firm belief in otherworldly beings.

I had experiences with a spirit board predicting things happening that would not be known for many years after. I learned to discern what is spirit and what is just some sort of fluke. If you read any folktale, you quickly learn that spirits are on their side. Sound judgment is necessary when speaking with these creatures, and works with people too.

Being too Emotional

Over-attachment is another of those things that one must tackle to be successful. You want to be able to care enough about the result of the working, but you also don’t want to obsess over it.

Holding onto anything for too long can render you unable to rise to the occasion to perform the deed pleasingly. It is a form of magical constipation. You need to let that shit go.

If you raise all this energy & let it go, and then think about the thing you asked for always, you are not allowing it to do its job. The over-thinking, especially negativity, will turn the energy into a yo-yo and eventually fizzles out altogether.

Journal about it in your magic diary for future reference, then go about your day.


Set it and forget it ~ Ron Popeil


No one truly knows why magic works, but it does if you believe in it by bringing forward opportunities to correspond to your ritual. It does anyway, but it tends to be more potent with belief.

Do not give up on your work. Giving up will only make it worse. Practice makes functionally powerful changes in your life and confidence in your magic.

Self Care: Anxiety and Depression


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It is an entirely natural thing to feel down as a human being. We may feel this way due to societal pressures to be “perfect,” our plans have failed, or life just below chunks of shit in our face.

Now, I suppose a disclaimer is in order before I proceed further. This blog post is not to forego professional help from experts, but to highlight my experience as a person who struggles with depression and a dissociative disorder. I highly recommend a good therapist if you are having a severely lousy time or even medication to get you out of the downward spiral. I have done these actions to make sure I survive these dark times.

The following will be a collection of natural ways I use to maintain my good mood and to help drag my ass out of a mood hole if needed.


I am not a fan of taking any modern medications for most anything. However, sometimes it’s necessary. If you are suicidal, an herbal remedy isn’t going to work fast enough to help. I also think that some people need to take these medications, and there is nothing wrong with this need. If you need it and it helps you, then do it.

The reason I don’t like it is that people tend to want to make us into meat robots. Personally, I think that being sad or mad or any other negative feeling is a bad thing. It is not wrong but just a natural response to stress. It just is more extreme in other people.

I am very into prevention of these bad phases that pop up. If I have to take medication, it is a bad time, but I realize that I am lucky enough to be able to stop them when I feel like I can handle myself properly again.

For me, the medications make me feel like I lose a part of myself, but it gives an “I don’t give a shit” platform to work through overwhelming issues. If overly worried or depressed about not being able to change the things about life that are undesirable it is hard to see reality. So, medication can help this fight tremendously.

Wow! That sounds perfect! Sure! In the short-term it indeed does, but to me, there is a downside. At least for me. The meds tend to conform you to “norms” and make you into the perfect meat-bot. I hate it after a few months, so I eventually I found natural options. However, please do what works for you!


Medication is very useful in working through your problems paired with counseling. Counseling helps you create coping methods when times are hard. Plus, there is nothing like getting shit off your chest. These people are like modern day priests. You go in and confess your “sins,” and they cannot tell people you love. Instead, they give you something to work on until the next session.

These people must be saints in there own way. If you think about the exchange of energy that goes on, you sit and tell them negative things that no one wants to hear, and they take money for it. This way no one can complain about you being a downer.

I have found a few great counselors. This person encouraged using the Tarot and mindfulness in order to help cope with my issues. With these coping mechanisms, I was able to notice that I have a cycle of feeling like garbage. Because I now know about the cycle, I can do something at those particular times to hopefully prevent anything from becoming blown out of proportion.

Hypnosis & Meditation

These two may be very similar, but there are some major differences. In hypnosis, you are a willing participant in the exercise, but in meditation, it is more about relaxing the mind so you are not worrying so much.


I have been to a ton of sessions in various hypnosis protocols, and I am secretly trained in these techniques. I say secretly because I do not have a practice. I do believe beyond a doubt that these exercises can help ease both depression and anxiety if the individual wishes to get rid of these issues.

In order to really work, the person needs to want to change the issue. If they do not these exercises will not work. There can be a secondary need an individual has that they do not wish to get rid of such as the person gets attention because of this condition.

Hypnosis is a relaxation exercise with an end goal in mind. This can be smoking cessation, weight loss, relieving anxiety, etc. You go into a deeply relaxed state, but do not think that you are not in charge! You are and you can wake yourself from this state. So, you are still in charge of you! This might be a big deal for those who like to stay slightly conscious of their actions.

Hypnosis and stage hypnosis are very different things. So, do not expect to be made to bark like a chicken or something similar. People have different tolerances when it comes to hypnosis to hypnotic inductions, so not everyone will be as easy to put into this state like others. Stage hypnotists can pick out who will be easiest to induce into a “trance.”


Specifically, mindfulness meditation can help you relax when you’re overly worried, or your brain is racing. At the same time, you are re-framing what you chose to focus on while your body is in a more reactive state. When you feel overly anxious, it seems to help calm your heart rate and control your breathing.

There are a ton of guided meditation apps that you can download to your phone, and there are YouTube videos as well. You don’t need to do it for an hour unless you want to, but I know that I am not great at doing anything like that. I wish I could, and ideally, I would.



I use plant allies daily to help me maintain my composure on a daily basis. Every morning, I consume a few types of herbals on a regular basis. Tulsi, Peppermint, and Ashwagandha are my main allies. These are what is known as adaptogens in herbalism.

Adaptogens are herbs that are useful in helping the body adapt to stressful situations. When it comes to herbals, there are several rules that you must follow. You must make sure that the product you are ingestion has the actual herb, not just filler, and all of these are from a reputable source.

I tend to think of herbs as a preventative measure. Some herbs cannot be taken in the long term. Eucalyptus is a good example because the plant can act as a neurotoxin when used in the long-term.

With all herbs, you should start out with the lowest dose possible to make sure you do not react adversely to them. Treat herbs as if they were medicine. They can interact with conventional medications. Balance is the key, and you don’t want to make your symptoms worse or get sick.

In addition to these herbs, I take a tablespoon of Apple Cider Vinegar every day. Taking this helps boost my energy and helps with lower blood pressure. I notice a huge difference if I don’t drink it for a few days, but mostly to do with acne. ACV will help prevent breakouts.

For the love of all gods, please water it down before drinking it. It tastes pretty rank alone at first, but eventually, you end up liking it. I recommend getting Bragg’s apple cider vinegar. Its flavor is the best in my opinion, but either way, you want one that is organic and with the “mother.” You can also make a batch if you’re handy.

Vitamins and Minerals

Vitamin D is helpful for your mood as well. Since we have moved more to indoor jobs, a lot of us do not get enough sun. Seasonal Affective Disorder often happens when the sun is at it’s weakest, and we don’t want to do anything other than lay under a blanket.

A physician performs a blood test to see if there is a deficiency. Preferably if you do need more Vitamin D in your life, you will go outside more or eat more leafy greens. However, if you’re like me, you just take a supplement in the form of a gummy.

Magnesium is also essential to our health as well. While it doesn’t seem like a deficiency in this mineral would effect anxiety on any level, it does help. Mostly, I just use a little every day in my deodorant, because it’s best when absorbed through the skin.

Diet and Exercise


Now, the bane of my existence, the sweet stuff. Sugar is the enemy of a good day from what I have found. I had a horrible addiction to candy after I quit smoking. So, not only was I eating sugar all the time, but most foods in the United States also contain sugar. So, while you cannot escape it entirely, it is possible to cut it out.

I started noticing a pattern. When I ate candy, I hated my life, and sometimes I would lash out at people. It was great, but not really. While I still eat sugar on occasion. I’ve noticed that I don’t react as extreme as before. I have done a ton of research on this, and it’s one of the worse things for your body.


Exercise is beneficial. Moving around and working with your body gets the blood flowing. The blood flows more efficiently throughout the body and also the brain. It is also more important to stay active, and not just exercise.

So, if you have a sit-down job, experts are saying that this can be just as deadly as eating lard each meal. Thus, it is super important for you to stretch and move around throughout the day.

Ideally, you should not be hurting yourself and be in constant pain. That’s bullshit. Do what you can do, and make sure it’s fun for you. Be active within your abilities. Garden, walk around the mall or swim. Do something you love, so you will always want to do it.

Depression and anxiety can feel like a person is fighting a dragon, and your job should you chose is to be your knight in shiny armor. You just need the shield and the sword to fight it off. Some battles are going to go better than others. That’s okay. It’s not a race, but a journey.

Making Magick More Powerful


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There are a plethora of reasons why magick operations or rituals peter out after you perform them. It happens Incensefrom time to time. It happens to me too. It feels like a form of magical erectile dysfunction: a loss of potency.

The key is not to quit. Giving up on your work will make it worse. Practice makes perfect.

In my experience, this has happened for the few reasons that follow. There is most likely to be others, but perhaps these will help you.

1. Focusing on the items of the ritual, and not the ritual itself

Unless you are super rich or somehow find gold and other needed trappings for ceremonial magicians, it would be wise to ease up on yourself in this area. The point is to do the magic itself. You can get the rest later. The magic itself is what is most important. The practice is what makes you good at it.

2. Doubting yourself or the magic

Taking meticulous notes comes into play in remedying this problem. You will need these records to see if you made progress. Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it because you need to see it start to happen before you can believe it.

Western society taught us a belief in strict materialism and taught that the only thing that is rational or even real is a materialistic mindset. It is helpful to have ‘become invincible’ helps but if you haven’t gotten there yet, you will know when you do, then it is necessary to start off with small experiments before moving to bigger ones.

So, when you are trying to get into magic, you have to break that mindset before you can do more powerful magic. Think of it as going to the gym, and trying to bench press 300 pounds without having ever worked out before. It might be possible for some, but for most people, it would not go well.

For a while, I was working through modern magic. I would do the LBRP every night. I noticed a lot of shifts around me. How people perceive me changed, people were in some cases frightened. These reactions were how I knew it was working. The whole idea is to banish negativity from around you and your space. To purify and then move to the next level. However, this type of magic may not be your cup of tea, and that’s okay. The point is just to keep trying until you perfect the operation itself.

3. Inability to stay impartial

Androids style lust is the mother of all things for successful magical workings. You want to be able to care enough about the result of the working, but you also don’t want to upset us over it. It would be a form of medical constipation. You need to let that shit go.

If you raise all this energy and let it go, and then think about it the thing you asked for consistently, you are not allowing it to do its thing. The overthinking, especially negatively, will turn the energy into a yo-yo and eventually fizzles out completely.

Journal about it for future reference, and then go about your day.

4. Lack of focus

Focusing has been my biggest issue for a bit. I can do it, and I just don’t try. I have to do everything quick and dirty. I also have a ton of distractions I have to work through. So that’s something that I have to remedy.

There are tons of apps that help you with this. You just need to find one and do it. It does not have to be for a long time either. If you want, you can work up to some long drawn out meditation process. But part of doing a ritual is to get yourself into a meditative state and mindset anyway.

I listened to Memory: How to Develop, Train and Use it by William Walker Atkinson on LibriVox recently. The whole idea is to be able to focus on something you do not like to do. That helps you focus on things you do like to do. You can do this using an affirmation and then train yourself to be able to focus. In the book, it was suggested to start memorizing things such as poems. It might be beneficial for the magical practitioner to remember correspondence tables. All of this will help you to be able to focus.

In conclusion, this is only my opinion and also what I have had to personally work through over the course of the past few years. I know that a lot of other people have to work with different things. Don’t see any of these things as permanent challenges or stops to your practice just keep going, work through it, and your skill will grow.